Chapter 81 - Volunteer Work
My application to establish the Circle was rejected.
"Eh? Why?"
I couldn't accept it.
"What's the reason? I’ve already secured permission from the teachers' side, so shouldn't that mean there's no issue?"
"Teacher judgment is teacher judgment," the Monolith replied emotionlessly.
"However, from the perspective of student self-governance, a separate judgment is crucial. Therefore, approval from the Student Council is also required. Without satisfying both, the launch of a Circle is impossible."
The Monolith responded without a shred of feeling. Well, it's a slab, so I suppose it can't be helped, but I wondered what kind of expression the person on the other side of this communication device was making!
"Then, what is the basis for the Student Council to deny the Circle's launch?!"
"As I said before: to protect the peace of the school. As those responsible for internal self-governance, we do not wish to trigger unnecessary conflict."
I didn't understand that logic! If we're talking about conflict, you're the ones causing it right now by refusing my claim!
"Sao, we view you as a dangerous element."
"Say what?"
"That is our basis for believing the school's tranquility might be disturbed. Your actions since enrolling have been nothing but radical and shocking."
Conquered the school's practice dungeon while still a first-year. Obtained permission for official dungeon practicals.
Went on a dungeon practical and conquered every floor on the first day. Brought back half a year's worth of materials on the second day.
Invited to the Year-End Banquet where the nation's influential figures gather, by order of the Queen.
Caught Her Majesty's eye there and was ordered to investigate an attempted assassination. Apprehended the culprit and resolved the case.
Entered the first inter-school event of the second year, the "One Day Heaven-Breaking Ceremony," and won.
Suppressed the riot that broke out immediately after with the help of comrades.
Assassinated King Imashinunda, the mastermind behind the chaos.
The above are my main achievements since entering the Royal School. Though there are some cases I can't go public with.
Still, even I have to admit I've gone on quite a rampage. And that’s even excluding the sex-related matters.
"You are still only a second-year, a mere junior within this school. And yet, at this stage, your name is already known throughout the campus."
Hopefully not as a rootless man-whore? If not, then fine.
"Your existence has already begun to hold great influence within the school. For us, the Student Council, this is a very undesirable situation."
"Because it would be a problem if someone with more power than you appeared?"
"...We simply do not welcome an existence that disturbs the harmony of the school."
I see. Oh, really?
"You, who are being watched in such a manner, are attempting to start a Circle as the organizer. Are you not attempting to build a foothold for a full-scale takeover of the school?"
"What kind of conspiracy theorist are you?!"
"Do you not require a Circle as a vessel for those who support you? And upon that, do you not intend to build a firm support base and eventually seize the authority of school self-governance for yourself?"
"I AM NOT!!"
How ridiculous. Who would do something so incredibly tedious? If I were going to satisfy a desire for dominance, I’d rule the whole world rather than this tiny school. I’d become a Demon King and offer the Hero half the world! I’d split the world between "Men and Women" and present the all-male half to the Hero!!
"Look... you don't need to have such a wild imagination. I have no ambition, so please rest easy...!"
Please, feel free to do whatever you want with the self-governance of this school. I’m not interested. All I need is enough room to support the women I’ve had sex with; that’s plenty for me.
"Hmph. Anyone can say anything. History is carved with many cowards who feigned loyalty on the surface while waiting for a chance to slit someone's throat in their sleep."
Agh, this Monolith just won't listen!
I’m not threatening your seat of power. I just want to ravish Spear-senpai and the other ladies while supporting them with the Circle's aid money!
"Then, I shall present a condition. If you follow this condition, we will believe in your sincerity and would not be unwilling to grant permission for the Circle's launch."
"Oh? And what is it?"
"That you swear loyalty to us, the Student Council, and follow every order without resistance."
"Screw you."
"The term is indefinite."
"Are you picking a fight with me?!"
Why do I have to give up my freedom for all eternity just to start one Circle?! The balance of give-and-take is way off.
"Are you refusing? Then, as I thought, you are plotting a rebellion against the Student Council?"
"When did this turn into a talk about rebellion?!"
This was bad. The exchange was starting to feel like a witch trial. The more I continued this back-and-forth, the worse my position seemed to get.
"...This is getting us nowhere. If you're going to be this unreasonable, I'll have to take extraordinary measures."
"Oh? And what might those be? Will you finally reveal your vulgar true nature and go on a rampage in this Student Council Room?"
The content of the talk was getting so wild that I stopped feeling weird about talking to a Monolith. If I continued this strange conversation any longer, I felt like I’d lose my mind, so I wanted to end it quickly. As declared, I decided to take extraordinary measures. I took a deep breath, gathered strength in my gut, and...!
"I’M GONNA TATTLE TO THE TEACHERRRRSS!!"
"!?"
"I’m gonna tell the teachers about the Student Council's tyran-ny! I’m gonna tell Instructor Whip! I’m even gonna tell the Principal!!"
The ultimate "snitch" tactic!!
Even if the Student Council is entrusted with school self-governance, they are ultimately students... children who have not yet received legal adult certification. The true decision-making power in the school lies with the adults... the teachers. If they felt like it, they could instantly strip away that temporary autonomy and the titles of the Student Council members.
"Despicable... You would involve teachers in a dispute between students...?"
"It's not between students, is it? A Student Council President, who has been entrusted with power, is using that power to bully an average student. Isn't it only natural to seek help from a greater power?"
"I am not bullying you!"
"I'M GONNA TELL THE QUEEN, TOOOO!!"
"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!!"
During the finals of the "One Day Heaven-Breaking Ceremony," many students witnessed me speaking directly to Her Majesty, so the rumor that I'm in the Queen's good graces carries the weight of truth. The threat worked even on this Monolith President, who finally changed his tone...
"...Fine. It is also the duty of the Student Council to believe in the sincerity of the students. With the broad-mindedness of a Student Council President, I shall give you a chance."
"Yay."
In reality, it wasn't a "yay" at all. Thinking logically, they should have given permission without a second thought; hesitating and making a fuss with Student Council power was out of the question.
"So, what exactly is this 'chance'? If it's a level of unreasonableness no different from that nonsense earlier, I really will tell the Queen this time...!"
"Urgh, do not speak Her Majesty's name so casually; it is disrespectful. Do you not feel pathetic borrowing the authority of a ruler in such a manner?"
That actually hurts to hear.
Even without him saying it, I knew perfectly well that the "snitching" strategy was the height of despicability. That's why I wanted the other side to give in here; if things got any more complicated, I'd have to use force. I really wanted them to cave.
And the "chance" the Monolith President presented was...
"Heave-ho, heave-ho...!!"
Having been ordered to perform service for the school, I was currently dredging a ditch as part of it. In an old pond on the grounds, layers of disgusting sludge had accumulated over the years from fallen leaves and rainwater. I had to dig it out with a shovel and remove it.
The work was tough, and the smell was intense, so it was undeniably grueling. Still, I swung the shovel, working hard to cleanse the filthy place.
The Student Council's side of the story was this: —"If you truly have no ambition or ulterior motives, you should be able to engage in this difficult activity without complaint. We shall judge your sincerity by that."
Or something like that. Well, it was certainly far better than that nonsense about "obeying us for all eternity," so I had no choice but to comply. Service activities—so-called volunteering—are certainly a good deed, so complying wasn't all bad.
Thus, I was vigorously scooping out the mud from the bottom of the pond. Once I scooped it all, I'd let it dry in the sun, and once it was bone-dry, I'd burn it all up.
While I was working so hard, Big Sis Calibur and Lady Staff came by to cheer me on.
"Hey, Sao, is it going well?"
"Hey, Sis."
Normally, I wouldn't want to let ladies near such a smelly, dirty, and dangerous place, but they are kind, so they came anyway.
"I’ve brought some clean water from the cafeteria. Please, take a break."
"That’s much appreciated."
I gulped down the water they gave me and felt like I’d come back to life. A drink after labor is the best!
"The Student Council people are so mean. Making Sao clean such a wide area all by himself...!"
"Hey, Sao, are you sure we can't help? If we all do it together, it'll be over in no time, right?"
That's impossible, Sis. The Student Council crowd clearly stated "Service Activities by me alone" as a condition for the Circle's launch. Since they said it was a trial to judge my sincerity, their reasoning for making me do it alone was technically sound.
But even if there hadn't been such a condition, I'd probably be doing it alone anyway. I can't let the women who admire me dive into this old pond and get covered in foul-smelling sludge. Staining them with the white liquid I produce is more than enough.
"Spear and the others... since they were the ones who started talking about making a Circle in the first place... they say they want to help anytime. They seem to feel quite responsible."
So they feel responsible because they were the trigger for me engaging in service? I appreciated the sentiment, but I’d rather they show their gratitude in bed. Eventually, I want them to give me plenty of "service" in return. Thinking that gave me a surge of energy!
"One scoop for Sis~ Two scoops for My Lady~"
While I was hum-humming along, I finished dredging the ditch, and the old pond that had been abandoned in a corner of the school was generally cleaned up. Now, if water gradually accumulates from rain and dew, the beautiful pond should return.
As for the sludge I scooped out... I thought about drying it in the sun and burning it, but then I remembered I had the [Pyro Stigma] bestowed upon me by the Fire Spirit. The heat emitted by "Pyro Stigma" far surpasses even the fire magic manipulated by a [Wizard], so even sludge that hasn't been dried and is still full of moisture would burn easily. It burned.
I thought the remaining ash might become fertilizer if I scattered it on the ground, so I threw it around.
With that, the cleaning of the old pond was finished. Now, mission accomplished. I’ll report this and finally get them to approve the launch of the Circle...! I visited the Student Council room again in high spirits, but...
"Now for the next mission."
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...!!"
I had a suspicion, but they actually played that hand. Who said there was only one service activity? Just like that, the moment one was finished, they ordered the next task. ...Is this going to go on forever? If that's the case, I’ll just keep working until every volunteer activity in this school is wiped out.
And the new service activity I was ordered to do was peeling potatoes in the cafeteria. The Royal School has a dedicated cafeteria that operates to satisfy the students' hunger. To fill the stomachs of several hundred students, it was quite large-scale. Consequently, they were chronically short-staffed and always seeking help with small chores. That’s where the volunteer comes in.
If it's come to this, I'll peel anything—potatoes, chestnuts, whatever!
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