Chapter 95 - Goblin Hunting at the Hot Spring Resort
The other women adjusted to my sudden change of plans without a single complaint, aligning themselves perfectly with my new policy.
"I know that inn! It’s, like, totally trending right now!"
"The water gushes straight from the earth, doesn't it!? I heard it makes your skin incredibly smooth!"
"What!? Then we absolutely have to go!!"
No matter the era or the world, women are sensitive to beauty and trends. A unanimous vote to change course was passed instantly. We decided that before we scoured the dungeon, we would scour every single one of our pores at the hot spring.
"Where is the spring!? That way!? Uooooooooooh!!"
It didn't actually help to walk faster while still inside the Magic Bus, but I couldn't help the excitement.
"We’re heading pretty deep in, aren't we? We’re practically in the middle of the mountains now."
"All I see are trees to the left and right, degozaru~"
Hmm. Hot springs are said to be groundwater heated by the magma of volcanic belts. Since springs have a direct relationship with volcanoes, it stands to reason they would be abundant in mountainous regions. Therefore, continuing deep into the mountains was certain proof we were getting closer!!
"Oh, I see something!"
"See!? I told you!!"
Thank goodness. I was starting to worry about what we’d do if we got lost this deep in the woods. We finally arrived at a building that looked like a mountain villa, nestled in the very heart of the peaks.
"Western style, huh?"
I was shallow to assume it would be a Japanese-style inn just because it was a hot spring. After all, there's no reason for Japanese architecture to appear in an isekai fantasy...
Wait! Maybe there’s a country in the Far East that inherited a culture identical to Japan!? Some place called the Land of Wa or the Land of the Rising Sun! I’ll save the quest for that Golden Land of Zipangu for another time... for now, the spring in front of me.
"Yahoo!"
"Smooth skin, here I come!"
The more impatient members of our circle tried to dash out of the bus, but I had to stop them. At least wipe off the semen and put your panties on first!!
"But will everything be alright...?"
Lady Staff looked unusually pensive.
"I mean, we’re a large group of over sixteen people, aren't we? To just barge in without a reservation... won't we be a nuisance to the innkeeper?"
Hahahaha. What are you saying, Charlotte? We are customers! Is there a shop in existence that doesn't welcome customers? No! Especially a large group—that just means big business. There's no way they wouldn't welcome us!!
...Actually, that’s total nonsense. Even shopkeepers have schedules; they can't always respond immediately to unreasonable demands. It’s bound to be a hectic mess. And even if you need customers to stay in business, there’s a limit to capacity. Besides, this place is famous enough for rumors to reach the Capital. It’s probably packed to the rafters. What if they tell us, "We’re booked solid until next year"?
Are we just a bunch of idiots for barging in without thinking!? What do we do if it’s full? Was all this for nothing!? I don't want to be thrown out into the wilderness to sleep in the bus!!
...But as I was cursing my own carelessness...
"...Wait, what?"
It turned out my fears were entirely unfounded. When we entered the lobby just to check... the interior was deserted. There wasn't a soul in sight.
"Excuse me! Is anyone here!?"
I shouted, but only a hollow echo returned. It wasn't just quiet... there was no one there at all. A ruin?
"We didn't get the place wrong, did we?"
"According to the rumors, this is definitely it..."
Really? These are just rumors, you know. Is it okay? However, looking inside from the entrance, the place was well-maintained and still smelled of daily life. I could tell it wasn't an abandoned wreck. While I was wondering about the desolation...
"My, my, my... Welcome...!"
Hearing the commotion at the front door, the sound of pitter-pattering footsteps approached from the back. A slightly older woman emerged. She had a calm atmosphere about her, and her hair was tied back neatly so she could move briskly. From her appearance alone, you’d call her "Landlady" before she even introduced herself.
"I am Soaps, the owner of this hot spring inn. Thank you for traveling all this way to such a remote place...!"
"Um... we’re sixteen people without a reservation. Do you have any rooms?"
Even I thought I was being unreasonable. This was the behavior of a nuisance customer. But since I knew it was inconsiderate, I was prepared to back down gracefully if it was impossible!!
"My, such a large group...! We have plenty of rooms available. As you can see... well, currently, this inn has no other guests staying with us."
"Really!? Alright!!"
"However, I cannot allow you to stay."
"Huh!?"
Why!? You have plenty of rooms, right!? No other guests, right!? Then why can't you put us up!? ...Wait. In this case, I should think about why there are no other guests. According to the details...
"...Goblins?"
"Yes, they've started appearing recently. We're deep in the mountains here, and with the complex terrain and thick forest, it's the perfect hideout for monsters."
Goblins love bullying the weak, so if they find unarmed humans, they always attack. That’s what makes them decisively more dangerous than simple beasts.
"Customers traveling from the city have to pass through the mountain roads to get here, and I've heard quite a few reports of sightings along the way."
"We didn't see any..."
"Then you were very lucky."
Well, we were speeding through in a Magic Bus while occupied with harem sex. Even if we passed them, we wouldn't have noticed.
"The Lord who rules this area issued an order to stop operations, citing the danger of being attacked. So, currently, I am unable to host anyone, regardless of who they are."
"I see."
As she explained, Landlady Soaps looked visibly haggard. It made sense. A prosperous inn famous in the Capital, suddenly forced into closure by a disaster out of nowhere. Normally, this place would be bustling with visitors seeking the healing waters.
"Has the Lord taken any measures?"
"Since the order to close, nothing... there's been no talk of the Lord's knights being dispatched."
"He issued the order and that was it? Typical 'throwaway' governance!" Lady Staff fumed as a future lord herself.
"Adventurers don't often come this deep into the mountains. I've given up hope on exterminating the goblins. I sent all my employees back to the village. It's too dangerous for them to be in a solitary house in the mountains."
"And what about you?"
"I am the owner. This is the only place I have to go back to. I must protect this inn until the very end."
She said that, but a lone, fragile woman in a solitary house in the mountains is in serious danger. It’s only a matter of time before the goblins set their sights on this inn. In fact, they might have discovered it already and are just waiting for the right moment to strike. That’s just how goblins are.
"So, as I said, I cannot host you. It is truly a shame. You should all head back as soon as possible. If you hurry now, you can reach the village at the foot of the mountain before sunset."
"We can't have that...!"
The ones laughing defiantly were myself and my lewd, dependable sister, Calibur. Do you know what they used to call us back in the countryside? The main job my sister and I did in our home village was goblin extermination. Goblins who periodically appeared in the wilderness to attack livestock, ruin fields, and kidnap people were nothing but a plague. Occasionally, the village self-defense group would gather all their strength to cull them.
Leading the charge were my sister and I. Back home, we were known as the "Goblin Slaughter Siblings."
"I’d take the lead and shatter the goblin horde, and my sister would lead the others to surround and kill every single goblin that tried to flee."
"The sound of goblins begging for their lives echoing through the forest, followed by their death rattles... Those were fun times, weren't they?"
Hearing about the damage they’ve caused for the first time in a while made my goblin-slayer blood boil. As the old saying goes: To see what is right and not do it is a lack of courage. Following that maxim, let us show you our bravery!
"P-please, don't be so hasty...! It’s been a while since the goblins were first spotted. There’s no telling how large the pack has grown...!"
"That is exactly why we must act immediately."
If a goblin pack is left alone, its numbers will only grow. A bloated pack can become a disaster capable of destroying nations, not just towns. So, the golden rule is to hunt down every last one the moment you find them. Normally, the local lord should be doing this desperately, but sadly, it seemed he lacked both the ability and the sense of responsibility. I’ll be sure to tell the Queen when I get back to the Capital.
"If no one else will do it, I will."
"You mean we, don't you, Sao?"
My sister was full of motivation too, she burns with as much passion for goblin slaughter as she does for sex!!
"So, we’ll take care of the goblins in this area. If we do, will you let us stay?"
"Um, well...?"
Pressed for an answer, the landlady was bewildered.
"If the goblins are the reason you're closed, then if the goblins are wiped out, you can reopen. Don't worry, by tomorrow, not a single goblin will be left on this mountain."
Fortunately, the circle members I brought along for the dungeon exploration were all elite warriors. If this elite force moves in these numbers, we could easily slaughter a pack of two hundred goblins. Forget any naive expectations of female adventurers getting caught and turned into a rape-fest. Such expectations only exist to be betrayed.
The goblin extermination operation was launched immediately. My experienced sister took the lead, guiding the elite students of the Royal Academy. With the pro adventurer Gurka accompanying them and my sister’s [Holy Knight] skill, [Vow of the Carnal Feast]," strengthening the abilities of all my pole-sisters by more than double, they should be perfectly fine.
I watched them go... and stayed behind at the inn.
"Um... aren't you going, young man?"
The landlady looked at me like I was a piece of trash.
"The young ladies all went off to fight, and yet you're the only one staying behind..."
I knew what she wanted to say. Letting only the females go hunt while I relaxed at the base—what am I, a male lion? Currently, it wouldn't be unfair to call me a deadbeat who lets women do the work. However, please don't write me off just yet. There is a method to this formation.
"I know from my experience hunting goblins."
"Pardon...?"
"I had a bitter experience once. Goblins are supposed to have low intelligence and only act on instinct. But sometimes, they do things that are 'unlike' them."
They can read human strategy and outsmart it. Once, we were completely played by those goblins. We managed to overcome the crisis, but we were on the verge of suffering massive losses. That bitter experience became a lesson. Never let your guard down, even against goblins. Even when going all-out on a cull, you must place an iron-clad defense at the weakest point.
That lesson will be put to use tonight.
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