Chapter 96 - Ultimate Goblin Evolution

 Yes, this is me reporting from the scene. Right now, a rainstorm of blood is raging here. Mostly the blood of goblins.

"Hieeee!? What is this!?"

Behind me, the landlady is trembling in my shadow. In front of her, I was turning the attacking goblins into sprays of blood one after another.

"...Goblins that survive for a long time rarely undergo mutation. They become stronger and smarter than normal ones, making them troublesome opponents."

I’ve had a bitter experience with a mutated goblin like that in the past.

Coincidentally, it was back when I participated in a goblin cull for the very first time. They turned the humans' strategy against them, successfully striking the weakest part of our formation and nearly breaking through the encirclement.

"After that bitter experience, we decided that no matter what, we would never underestimate goblins."

They go behind your back and strike your weak points. I threw away the naive idea that beast-like goblins wouldn't be capable of such crafty maneuvers. Even at the cost of inefficiently splitting our forces, you must place your strongest fighter at the most vital spot to keep the defense rock-solid. This was the iron-clad rule of goblin hunting I mastered through years of experience.

"Moreover, if the goblins around here were left alone for a long time, there’s a very high possibility that mutated species have emerged. Those kinds of guys will normally use a diversionary tactic, drawing away the humans' main force while hitting the base in the gap."

Those who are halfway used to fighting and underestimate goblins as low-class monsters fall right into this supreme pitfall and suffer for it. Setting up a trap like this—goblins really are nasty enemies.

"But! I won't fall for a trap!"

Because I’ve been reincarnated into another world!

I swung my pole around, landing "nice shots" on the heads of the goblins one after another.

The hot spring inn we were defending was surrounded by a holy barrier thanks to Lady Staff's [Holy Saint] skill. Because of this, the evil goblins couldn't step inside a certain range and had no choice but to rush toward me, standing tall alone just outside the barrier.

They probably thought that since there was only one person, they could easily win if they surrounded me with numbers. Goblins always get cocky against those weaker than themselves.

However, that was exactly the secret to a total goblin massacre—ensuring not a single one escapes. To uproot the goblin plague, I couldn't let even one get away. Not just the diversionary group that Big Sis Calibur and the others are likely surrounding right now, but this main force attacking here—none of them can be allowed to return alive.

"Wait... this is strange?"

I’ve been clubbing their kin to death left and right. Even for goblins, it should be about time they felt fear and turned to flee, no matter how much it seemed like an easy win against a lone opponent.

Once they feel fear, the goblin habit is to flee without hesitation. With so many of their comrades killed, the "winds of cowardice" shouldn't just be likely—they should be certain. And yet, maintaining this offensive now is an act that goes against goblin nature.

What does this mean? Is it actually possible to make goblins defy their instincts? For example, are they being led by an incredibly excellent commander? I thought, "Is there a commander at the level of Alexander the Great who can suppress goblin instincts and turn them into suicide squads?" Just as I wondered if such a transcendent commander actually existed...

"Kukuku... You move well for a human. How many dozens of our kin have you slain already?"

I heard a voice. A voice? Who on earth is talking?

"But surely you must be getting tired. Humans are frail; they get out of breath and slow down after just a little movement."

To play along with the diversion, Big Sis Calibaur and the rest of the women had all left the inn to hunt goblins. So, the only ones moving energetically here were me and the enemy goblins, but...

"A goblin is talking?"

Is that possible? To speak means it understands human language. However, the figure that emerged through the ranks of the general goblins was far too tall and slender for a goblin, with a dignified posture.

"What is it? Is it so rare for a goblin to speak?" 

"Pardon my ignorance, but I’ve never heard of a goblin that could use human speech."

But is that thing really a goblin? Its build—its skeletal structure—was clearly fashion-model grade.

"I am no ordinary goblin. I am a special goblin who has survived the struggle for existence, lived long, and evolved accordingly. Do not lump me in with those common types."

As I thought. A mutated goblin. Even the "Rokuburin" (Level 6) I saw back in the countryside possessed enough cunning to change the course of a battle.

Since that day, I had set it in my mind: if a Goblin becomes a Rokuburin, then surely a Nanaburin or Hachiburin (Level 7 or 8) would appear, and the day would come when I’d face them.

Today, that time finally came. My heart was ready; I wouldn't be surprised no matter how many "-burin" it was. Bring it on.

"I am the highest-ranking goblin who has stepped into the end of ultimate evolution! Having achieved a 10,005-stage evolution, my name is...!"

He paused for effect.

"...The Man-Goblin!!" 

"That's too many stages!?"

Even for me, the number of evolution stages far exceeded my expectations. He passed ten thousand!?

"Fuhfuhfuh, you seem surprised. From the perspective of I, a Man-Goblin, humans are nothing but inferior organisms! Savor your one-sided terror!!" 

"Shut up, you just sound like a Mango Pudding!" 

"Keep acting tough while you can. My strategy is slowly cornering you. How many dozens of my kin have you crushed? Even if each one is trash, you consume a tiny bit of power to strike them. As that piles up, you will certainly reach the peak of exhaustion."

This guy is using his comrades as pawns just to drain my stamina? And not just one, but dozens? I felt disgust at his cruel strategy, but at the same time, I was impressed by this "Man-Goblin's" command ability—forcing self-centered goblins, who don't have a shred of devotion, to carry out suicide charges. He’s making goblins—who would gladly sacrifice their parents or children to survive—perform sacrificial acts. I could finally accept the absurdity of a 10,000-stage evolution.

"If I defeat you, the barrier behind you will vanish, won't it? Then we can enter that big house and take whatever we want, killing every human inside!"

Actually, someone else cast that holy barrier, so my safety doesn't matter. More importantly, the premise that I’d be beaten by you guys is impossible.

"It’s true that moving my body makes me tired. But the absolute amount of stamina differs from person to person." 

"What?"

With one swing of my pole, nearly ten trash goblins were swept away.

"Wha—!? Even after fighting this much, your movements are still sharp!?" 

"If you want to make me run out of stamina, you’d better bring ten thousand goblins."

I haven't spent day and night having sex with over ten lovers for nothing. Endurance is my greatest specialty.

"But I hate wasting time, so let’s finish this quickly."

I simply hated spending the time. I pulled out another pole, one for my right hand and one for my left. Dual-polr style. With this, I could eradicate the goblins at twice the speed. Crossing the two poles into a cross shape, I emitted an energy-like force, releasing something like a wave motion cannon!

"Haaaaaaaaaa!!"

With that, most of the goblins were blown away and evaporated. When you master the [Pole Master] skills, you can do things like this.

"Hieeeeee!? What is this human!? Hieeeeeee!?"

In the midst of that, the one called Man-Goblin stubbornly survived. As expected of an ultimately evolved goblin. His reactions were overwhelmingly faster than the others, and he was sturdy to boot.

"I can't deal with a monster like that! I'm leaving!"

As soon as he realized he was at a disadvantage, his speed in fleeing was exactly like a goblin. But I couldn't let him go. If a goblin that far evolved was released back into the world, he would surely build a massive horde again and become a plague to human society. To prevent the damage from repeating, I had to cut the root of the trouble here. I’d already made arrangements.

"Where do you think you're going, Mr. Goblin? From here, it’s a direct course to hell." 

"You won't escape."

Big Sis Calibur and Lady Staff appeared. They stood in the path of the retreating Man-Goblin, cutting off his escape.

"You guys!? Where did you come from!?" 

"We're the ones who went to exterminate the diversionary goblins you prepared. Though, we annihilated them long ago and came back like this."

Seeing a high possibility of a mutated goblin being on the enemy side, we had prepared and coordinated from the start. My sister and the others wiped out the diversionary goblins at maximum speed, then turned back to set up an encirclement around the hot spring inn. If the goblins were going to be sneaky, they’d strike the inn, so the plan was for me to intercept them and stall the front line while they prepared a formation to let not a single one slip through.

The plan worked perfectly. The fleeing goblins were surely being picked off by Spear, Bloom, and the others. Being able to set up such a flawless formation so quickly was an ability unique to my [Holy Knight] sister.

"Only the boss left, it seems." 

"So this is the mutated goblin I've heard rumors about. They say if even one joins a pack, a pest cull turns into a war. We certainly can't let this go."

Neither Big Sis Calibur nor Lady Staff had any intention of forgiving this evil evolved being. Shall we swing the blade of judgment to conclude the battle? It's a pole, though.

"W-w-w-wait, wait! Is it okay to kill me just like this!? I still have a trump card!"

That’s the kind of ugly struggle unique to a goblin. So what if you have a trump card? If you do, stop the tedious talk and counterattack with it right now.

"Fuhfuhfuh... You still don't understand, do you? I am the ultimate mutated species, Man-Goblin, who has achieved 10,005 stages of evolution...! Behold the special organ possessed only by a Man-Goblin!"

What!?

"Only in a Man-Goblin... yes, it is a goblin with a pussy (Oman-ko)!!" 

"A dirty joke!?"

The sheer stupidity of it made me land a single middle-finger fist right on the Man-Goblin's crown. A pun? And a dirty one? Pulling a combo of things you shouldn't do just made me feel even sadder.

"But what was that goblin trying to do by showing its pussy?" 

"A honey trap, maybe?"

Regardless, we defeated the final goblin general. Quest complete! We wiped out the goblins while protecting the hot spring inn!!

---

"Thank you so much!!"

After the post-battle cleanup, the landlady of the inn expressed her intense gratitude. To ensure the goblin corpses wouldn't attract other vicious monsters or cause disease, we burned them thoroughly and buried them deep in the ground.

Before that, we cut off their ears, sealed them in a bucket, and sent them via "cool delivery" to the Lord ruling this area. As proof that the goblins were handled. I included a letter saying, "Don't make passersby do your job for you; I'll be sure to report this to the Queen," so his future handling of things shouldn't be too bad.

"I'm sure the business suspension will be revoked immediately. This is all thanks to you. I really can't thank you enough!"

"No, no, we just did what humans ought to do based on duty and compassion. Besides, we want to fulfill our original purpose for coming to this inn."

"Of course! I won't hesitate to reward the benefactors who saved my inn. Please, heal the fatigue of battle in our waters! Since we're officially closed, there are no other guests! You can have the place all to yourselves!"

All to ourselves!? Hyahoi! Having a whole hot spring inn to ourselves—what a wonderful situation!

Since that’s the case, there’s only one thing to do! Let’s get in the spring!!

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