Chapter 120 - The Goblin Queen

I’ll call her Goblina.

Once, she was a vicious threat to human settlements, but unfortunately for her, she crossed paths with me and was promptly defeated. Now, normally, a goblin leader should be put down without a second thought, especially after I’d systematically slaughtered her entire tribe. But... I have a bit of a weakness.

I can't bring myself to kill something that looks like a woman, even if it's a monstrous monster. Knocking them unconscious is about the best I can do.

So, our resident scientist, Beaker-chan, captured her and put her through a series of "personality correction measures." The details involve things that probably violate several human rights conventions, so I’ll skip the specifics. Long story short, Goblina was brainwashed into following human orders and is now being used as a convenient tool.

And let’s be honest—what else do you use a goblin for but dirty work?

Given the current threat of the Niosebuk Kingdom, we’ve put her to great use. Goblins are experts at raiding and pillaging, so we had Goblina infiltrate Niosebuk to conduct guerrilla warfare against their supply bases.

It’s the perfect strategy. If our regular forces attacked, it would be an act of war. But if a bunch of goblins do it? We can just play dumb. Goblins raid things all the time. If they happen to hit a Niosebuk supply line and we benefit from the damage, we can just say, "What a coincidence!" No one expects goblins to take orders from humans, after all.

We’ve obtained a terrifyingly convenient tool of war. I’ve ordered her not to attack innocent civilians, though honestly, I’m starting to wonder if "innocent civilians" even exist in a place like Niosebuk.

Still, it's a bit frightening how easy this is. I just hope we don't get addicted to this kind of "easy" warfare.

Now, about Goblina herself. Being a goblin, she has a sickly, corpse-like shade of mugwort-green skin. However, her build is undeniably feminine. Her limbs are soft and womanly, her chest is full, and her hips are round. Even more annoying is how her waist is cinched like a gourd.

"So, Boss! What's the plan?! Which village are we burning down?!"

"We aren't burning anything. We aren't raiding villages," I corrected.

Goblina leaned in close, bringing that distinct goblin scent with her—a heavy, musky, animalistic smell. No matter how erotic her body looked, my sense of smell reminded me she was a monster. It was a stale scent, like someone who hadn't seen a bath in weeks.

"Listen, I’ve decided to take down the targets in this country directly. Our current methods are too slow."

"A direct assault! That's my Boss! Simply magnificent!!"

I don't know what's 'magnificent' about it.

"You've been doing guerrilla work in Niosebuk for a while now, right? You must have developed some sense of the geography."

Technically, we were the ones who told her where to go, so it felt a bit rich for me to ask, but whatever. Goblina had been hitting supply lines and bases, so she had to know some hidden paths or key locations.

"Spit out everything you know! Take me to the most important place you've found!"

"Roger that, Boss!"

I really hope she actually understands me.

But right now, I have no one else to rely on. It’s a sad situation, but with no other options, I have to commit to this path.

"I know just the place, Boss! It's the biggest building I’ve seen, and it’s crawling with guys who look like soldiers!"

"Oh? That sounds promising!"

I was worried her goblin brain wouldn't grasp the intent, but it seemed she actually had a target in mind.

"I'll guide you right now! Just follow me!!"

"Lead the way."

Is she going to keep up this 'underling' routine forever?

"Alright! Let's go, boys! For the Boss! Charge as one!!"

"GEHIIIIIIIIIIII!!"

Wait, wait, wait. What was that response?

I looked around and realized there weren't just a few. Dozens of regular goblins were lined up behind Goblina.

"What is this?"

"My subordinates, Boss."

"Didn't I slaughter everyone you were leading at that hot spring inn?!"

"I gathered a new crew after that."

Seriously...? I guess it was impossible for her to harass an entire country alone. She needed at least a platoon-sized force. It made sense for her to recruit local stray goblins, but... the fact that they can replenish their numbers so fast is what makes them truly terrifying.

"Don't worry, Boss! Me and the boys will protect you! We won't let those weak-ass pig-humans lay a finger on you!"

"I'm a human too, you know..."

As a resident of this fantasy world, I’ve been tormented by goblins and fought countless life-and-death battles against them. Fortunately, I haven't lost anyone important to them, but the fear that such a tragedy could happen has turned my hatred into something visceral. And now I’m traveling with them? The cognitive dissonance was almost too much to handle.

"We are the goblins, cruel and mean~♪" 

"GEGYAGYAGYAGYA!!" 

"Steal all the food, ravish the queens~♪" 

"GEGYAGYAGYAGYA!!" 

"The weaker they are, the more we'll be obscene~♪" 

"GEGYA-GYA! GEGYA-GYA! BYAA!!"

"Could you please stop singing that weird song while we march?"

"Boss! There's a human village up ahead! Want us to raid it on the side?!"

"No."

"Oooooh! A wild horse! Surround it! Capture it! That's dinner tonight!!"

"Leave it alone."

Yeah, I'm never going to see eye-to-eye with these guys.

As I trekked over hills and through mountains with a growing headache...

◆

"Boss! Look! That's the target castle!!"

"Is it now?"

A massive structure loomed ahead. It was built of stone and looked sturdy enough to be called a castle. But something was off. A real castle should be even larger, even more overwhelming. This place was... compact.

"It’s more like... a fort."

It was a fort.

Sigh. Close, but no cigar. I guess a goblin couldn't tell the difference between a castle and a fortress. I doubted a Prince would be in a place like this. A General, maybe. Regardless, this wasn't my destination. I decided to pull back quickly and rethink my strategy.

"Now! Time to die for the Boss! CHARGE!!"

"Wha— WAIT!!"

Before I could stop them, Goblina gave the signal and the goblin army began their assault. A head-on charge... straight for the front gate?!

"Enemy attack! ENEMY ATTACK!!" 

"It's a goblin raid!!" 

"A whole horde of them?! How is this possible?!"

Chaos erupted inside the Niosebuk fort. I had no idea what these guys were doing stationed here, but knowing Niosebuk, it couldn't be anything good. I didn't feel a single milligram of sympathy for the soldiers being swarmed by goblins.

"Fight! For the Boss! Even if your lives are scattered like dust!!"

But for the goblins, this charge was suicidal. The opponents were regular soldiers—the elites of the "Tiger-Wolf" Niosebuk army. To them, goblins were just pests to be exterminated. Goblina's crew had been doing fine with guerrilla tactics—stealing food and sabotaging roads—but a frontal assault? Why this suicide mission?

"Fight! FOR THE BOSSSSS!!"

Whatever. This was a total waste of time. The Third Prince definitely wasn't here; this was likely just one of a thousand minor outposts. I couldn't afford to be spotted and put the whole country on alert. I’d use the goblin rampage as a smoke screen and quietly fade away into the shadows.

"Gugyaa!" 

"Gihee!"

I heard the death cries of the goblins. The tide was turning fast. It wouldn't take the brutal Niosebuk soldiers ten minutes to finish off the rest of them.

But it didn't matter. Goblins are harmful creatures to humanity. You use them as much as you can, then discard them when they're no longer needed. That time had simply come. It wasn't the result I wanted, but staying involved would only bring me trouble. It was time to go.

"Don't flinch! Go, go, go! FOR THE BOSS!!"

I heard Goblina’s desperate voice. And then, the voice of a soldier who had her in his sights.

"So you're the leader of the goblins who's been pestering us...? A mutated type? How annoying...!"

"Oh! Captain!" 

"The Captain is stepping in!"

I couldn't help but look back. A massive man, nearly twice Goblina’s height, stood in her way.

"No matter how much you mutate, a goblin is still just a bug. I'll turn you into mincemeat in an instant. DIE!!"

The man swung his sword down toward Goblina’s skull. But a split second before it connected...

Clang!

The tip of his broken blade went flying through the air.

"What?!"

"I didn't think I'd be using the Adamantite Rod Septekifa made for me in a place like this," I muttered.

With a second swing, the man’s head was snapped clean off, spinning into the air.

Don't misunderstand. If I have to choose between a goblin and a Niosebuk soldier, the Niosebuk soldier is by far the more evil creature. If I don't exterminate them immediately, they'll just continue to be a plague upon the world.

So, since I’ve found them, I might as well finish off every last one of them.

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